Tiredness that sleep can't cure

You make me feel like a fool

Hey, do you think of me like I think of you?

You probably don't.

God send me an angel

From the heavens above
Send me an angel to keep my broken heart from being in love
Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes

I wish you took notice of me

I hate it how you leave me hanging,
I hate it how you shut me down,
I always try to give up trying,
But that never comes around,
I always want to talk to you,
But you never seem to care,
It's something that I can bare,
Though it hurts me every time,
I just don't know when I should not care,
Because I like you so much,
I really do,
These feelings I have for you don't stop growing,
And I don't know what to do.

I told myself that I wouldn't text you, that I wouldn't bother you.

But I did.

I like you so much

You don't know how I feel

Oh hey

I see you. I try not to stare at you.
So I try to catch glimpses of you instead. That's nice.

Smile

Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be if he had loved me 
Truly loved me, yes
I learned a while ago, that kind of thing, it never happens for me
And so I go around and just pretend 
Love is not for me 
I play the circus clown around my friends 
Make them laugh and they won't see
That you never let ‘em see you sweat 
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord know its killing me

[Chorus:]
So I put on my makeup 
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me 
Everything is ok 
I’m laughing ‘cause no one 
Knows the joke is on me 
‘Cause I’m dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face
On my face 
Singing la la la (la la, la la) 
la la, ( la la, la la, la la) 
la la (la la) 
Ooooh (la la la laahh) 
Laaaah 

Sometimes I sit at home by the phone hoping he might call me (call me)
But he don't call me (call me, call me, call me)
But then I realize dreams come true 
Aren't for girls like me, not like me
And so I go around with my head up 
Like it ain't no thing 
And when the boys around with all my friends 
I’m into other things 
‘Cause you never let them see you sweat 
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows its killing me

[Chorus:]
And so I put on my makeup (put it on, put it on)
Put a smile on my face (a smile on my face)
And if anyone asks me (oooh yeah)
Everything is ok (oh I’m laughing)
I’m laughing ‘cause no one (no one, no one)
Knows the joke is on me 
But I’m dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face
On my face (oooh)

It’s not an easy (thing to do) 
Sometimes it’s hard to (face the truth) 
It’s not the life that I would choose 
But what else can I do if he don't love me (no)
If he don't want me
I’m not about to sit around 
Let myself go (gooooo)

[Chorus:]
So I put on my makeup 
Put a smile on my face (I put a smile on my face)
And if anyone ask me 
Everything is ok 
I’m laughing ‘cause no one (no one, no one)
Knows the joke is on me 
‘Cause I’m dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face
On my face 
Singing, la la la (la la, la la) 
la la, ( la la, la la, la la) 
la la (la la, la la, la la la la laaa) 
I’ll keep on singing la la
Lalalala……

Today 25/07/2012

Today you were late to school.
You walked into period 1 English Language class.
I was with the teacher whom was checking my work.
You went to your seat.
I focused on what the teacher was explaining to me.
I looked up to catch a glimpse of you.
I returned back to what the teacher was saying.
I looked up again only to see you looking at me.
You gave me 2 thumbs up.
I waved and gave you a small smile.
You smiled back.
I returned to what the teacher was saying.
You came up to the teacher to ask a question.
She answered you and then went back to explaining things to me.
You went back to your seat.
Finishing with the teacher I returned to my seat.
You got up and walked to the teacher's table. You asked her a couple of questions.

You weren't looking at me. You were just looking to see when the teacher would be done with me so you could ask questions.

Smile even when it hurts

Forcing yourself to smile sometimes so people don't ask "Are you okay?"
-because you are afraid of breaking down, crying
-because you don't want to look weak and pathetic
-because you're situation is probably nothing compared to someone else's
-because you don't want to be a burden
-because you don't want to sap the joy out of someone just in case they worry
-because someone else's happiness matters so much more than your own

Just keep telling yourself that

I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay...
When I know I'm not.

I just want to sit in the corner and grow mushrooms and cry.

I am totally getting a new laptop at the end of the year.
Screw this shit box.

Drake

Where'd you go? I miss you so...

Hey we don't talk like we used to.
Hey we don't joke like we used to.
Hey you don't look at me like you used to.
Hey you don't care like you used to.
Hey where did you go off to?
I miss you

It's like don't exist to you anymore

Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go
Let go

And through my eyes

it rained....

And I'm trying
But it hurts
Cause you don't need me in your life liquorice

For you

Baby I'm here waiting
Close your precious eyes and just realise that I'm still fighting

Platonic Love or Romantic Love?

Falling in love is probably one of the most mystical phenomena one could ever experience. When you fall in love, you succumb to a gamut of human emotions—joy, sorrow, excitement, and sometimes, even depression. Falling in love becomes a bit more perplexing if you find yourself falling in love with a close friend. Now, this is where denial and rationalization enter the picture. Initially, you become confused as to what you are feeling. Then you ponder whether what you’re feeling is only an extension of the platonic love you feel for a friend.

The key here is self-introspection. There is a need to confront yourself, look in the mirror and ask yourself the following questions. Honest answers, however, are necessary for you to gauge if the platonic feeling you have for a friend is blossoming into something romantic.

1. Have you changed?

Did you suddenly become self-conscious on how you look, what you wear and what you say in front of your friend? Have your feelings changed? Does your friend’s presence suddenly becomes enough to make you feel ecstatic? Do you find yourself putting your friend under a microscopic eye, pondering and extracting meanings on what he or she says or does?

2. Do you think of your friend 24/7?

One always keep a friend in mind; however, thoughts about a friend does not perpetually cross one’s mind every second of the day and every day of the week. If you find yourself thinking of your friend practically all your waking hours and before dozing off to dreamland, then it might be a sign that you are falling in love with your friend.

3. Do you long to communicate with your friend every day? Do you feel upset if your friend does not call or send messages daily?

There is a bond between friends that transcends distance. Friends may not call each other every day, but still remain friends. Think about it! Some of your friends do not call you every day, and still, you consider them friends. So what is the reason behind this longing to hear from a specific friend every day of your life? This is something you might need to think about.

4. Do you find yourself wanting to be alone with your friend?

If your friend invites you to hang-out, does it upset you to know that your other friends are tagging along?

5. Do you put your friend’s interest above your own? Does making your friend happy makes you happier?

Do you give up your favorite chocolate bar for your friend? Do you lend the person your last centavo when he or she is in dire need? Do you buy the person insurance when you don’t even have your own? To sum it up, if it makes you happier to see your friend happy, then it might be a signal that you’re falling in love with the person.

Falling in love is an emotion and therefore, not rational. You just feel it. In case you have discerned that your love for a friend is blossoming into intimacy, the next question is, what are you going to do about it? Whatever you decide on, you will never run out of options. You can try to forget about it, bury it deep within or kill it. The flipside is you might want to let the other person know how you feel. Either way, it’s your call.

All that you need

But baby I just want to hold your hand and take it slow
Nobody knows what tomorrow brings
Maybe sunny days or stormy seas
But all I know for sure is that my love for you will grow
I wanna be all that you need

No words can describe how I feel right now.

It sucks not being able to express my feelings towards you.

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"

Paper Thin

Verse 1:
If I had the guts, I would tell you in person
that you're the only boy I'd consider as "worth it"
I know we're only friends and believe me that's perfect
but me, on the other end, that's only the surface
cause it's like New York, Times Square when I'm with you
or summer time LA, Venice Beach in mid June
After all this time, I've realized it's you
My hearts a puzzle piece that seems to fit you
and I know I can't promise you this is risk free
but I guarantee I wanna be part of your history
even if the odds are stacked against me
I wouldn't wanna lead a life without you with me
by my side, all you do is shine
brighter than the stars in all the galaxies combined
and nah that wasn't taken from a catalog of lines
it's simply what I feel every time you come to mind

Chorus
It's obvious I'm into you and everything I do
leaks a bit of truth 'bout the way I feel for you
and I no longer wanna keep this bottled in
I gotta tell you that I see you more than a friend

We could take a chance or never know at all
what if this was beautiful and every thing would fall
into place, listen to these words and take it in
I guess the walls of my heart are paper thin

Verse 2:
I'm trying to read your mind but I would rather read your heart
I ain't trynna play these games, I'm just trying to play it smart
honestly my feelings are jumping off of the charts
cause you fly me up to Mars being just the way you are
fell in love with your design, every smile is like a sign
your beauty is unique so it could never be defined
I'm not in need of money but at the drop of a dime
I'd take any opportunity there is to make you mine
so tell me what it takes, I'd do anything and more
to show you that I'm nothing like the other chicks before
Let me fill your calender with days I could explore
everything about you, baby right down to the core
Don't worry 'bout the cost, the time we spend is priceless
every moment that I share with you is timeless
tried hard to keep it in and deny it
but it's not worth fighting

Chorus
It's obvious I'm into you and everything I do
leaks a bit of truth 'bout the way I feel for you
and I no longer wanna keep this bottled in
I gotta tell you that I see you more than a friend

We could take a chance or never know at all
what if this was beautiful and every thing would fall
into place, listen to these words and take it in
I guess the walls of my heart are paper thin

I don't want to go school tomorrow

FFS

Everything reminds me of you

My friend said it wasn't so bad
you can't miss what you ain't had
well i can
i'm sad and there will be tears
i've no doubt
there may be smiles
but a few
and when those tears
have run out
you will be numb
and blue

i can't be there
that's all you had to say to me was
you couldn't be there
why couldn't you say to me
you won't be there
you could've warned me
you wouldn't be here
right here
you wouldn't be here for me

I'm just trying to protect myself.

If you're going to leave then leave. Don't linger because it's only hurting me.

“Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it.” — Anonymous

You shouldn't give attention to people who don't care

I had a nice day today.

Haven't had one of those in a while.

Even through the joy I feel the pain
Even in the sun I feel the rain
Even when I’m high I feel the lows

Like that's all I know
Lord knows I can't complain
But even when I do it feels the same
I’m getting high just to fight the lows, cuz that's all I know

Stupid voices inside my head.

I am strong. No you are weak.
I can do this. No you can't
I'm going to smile. No you're going to cry.
I'm not hurt. Yes you are.
I don't care. Yes you do.
I am happy. No you are sad.
I am calm. No you are angry
I love life. No, life is a bitch right now.


Look on the bright side. I'm trying. No you're not. Yes I am. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

What did I ever do to deserve this?

I really hope that you think of me

I don't think I will ever have the chance to tell you this, but you have no idea how often you come across my mind, just the thought of you makes the butterflies in my stomach go wild. I look forward to talking to you all the time, whether it's five hours or five minutes, it's still my favourite. You brighten up my days when nothing is going right and you provide me comfort with your presence. You're that someone who doesn't need to make an effort to make me smile.

It's a risky thing to open your heart to someone because of how easily they can break it. But you can't judge, or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you.

I turned out liking you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone I once knew.

You were like a brother to me. You were like a best friend.
I defended your fat ass when people said shit about you.
We shared so much secrets and talked about everything.
But then you fell for me. And shit happened between us.
I know I'm in the wrong. 
But through all that I never once gave up on our friendship.
You gave up so easily. You never even once tried to save it.
Yet I still held onto hope that one day we could be friends again.
Just like the way we used to be before.

No. Not after what you sent to me.
Not after that message.
You don't deserve to be my friend.
You don't deserve to be an issue in my life.
I'm trying not to care anymore.
I'm trying to let go now.
I'm saying goodbye.
I hope your happy.

You. That's all I got to say.

Take my heart. I don't want it anymore.

And through this pain I must smile.

Memory 101

The word REMEDY just reminded me of you.

Like I said. I believe in the CLICK

“Sometimes you meet a person and you just click—you’re comfortable with them, like you’ve known them your whole life, and you don’t have to pretend to be anyone or anything.”

—	Alexandra Adornetto

Think positive. Think positive. Think positive.

Playing the waiting game

Because I pressed SEND.

I'm trying my best to pick myself back up.

But it's not that easy when there are people there who are trying to knock you back down.

Be the best YOU

Care too little, you'll lose them. Care too much, you'll get hurt.

One of many

One of my many flaws is that by trying to be positive in every aspect can have its backfires.
In peoples eyes you uphold the bubbliness, the positivity because that is you.
To them this is how you are and who you are.
Therefore you, yourself shrug off what is bothering you. You shrug off what you are holding inside. You don't really tell people about your negative feelings because that would only cause worry. They will give you that look that you hate. So slowly overtime it all bottles up. You try your best to keep it all in. But you start to crack little by little. The negativity slowly starts to seep out.
You start to feel the full force of the pain. You start to hurt. You don't know how to handle this. So you cry, you scream, you hit...
But no one understands. No one understands that all you need in that moment in time, however long it may be, is a person who will just sit there in silence and hug you. Letting you cry it all out because all you really need is someone to be there to comfort you with the use of gestures not words.
No one understands that this is what I need most right now.

Pain, pain go away.
Come back another day.

It hurts

• what R said to me in person
• what R inboxed me on FB
• what I did to R
• trying to give up on L
• how things are with L

It all just fucking hurts.
I don't know how to rid this pain.
Please go away.

Goodnight, sweet daydreams Licorice <3
I miss talking to you.
I really want to talk to you like the way we used to.
-mwah-

Me: ahahahhaha you J.le you went out with R
      ahahah I went out with R
J.Le & Me hi-5
J.Le: Heartbreakers
Me: Aahahahaha

I thought we were close. I thought I belonged.

What happens when you get involved? Niggas start telling lies.

Feels excluded yo.

Just wondering where you are, what you are doing and how you are ♥

mee missin chuu

♥

Action!

Me: Scene 1, Take 1. -claps-
Bao: Next it's Scene 1, Take 2 okay?
Me: I know Bao! I can count!
Bao & Peter: Okay starting!
Me: Scene 2, Take 2 -claps-
Bao: ==''
Me: ???
Me: Ohhhhhh.....Wooops! Keke
MY BADDDDD :D

The book of COINCIDENCE

Woke up at 7am.
Caught the 8.18am train from Broady with Peter and Anthony.
Got to city around 8.50am ish.
Peter bought me a Mocha Hazelnut Coffee with 2 sugars.
He bought a Caramel Latte with 1 sugar.
Went to meet the Cast and Production Crew at Fed Square.
Peter and I were sent to go buy fur and double sided sticky tape.
Filming began at 10am.
I was the person who said Scene 1 take 1 etc etc.
I think I was in more shots than the actors.
Lunch came.
Yoyogi with Mel, Reymarmar, Rachel, Peter, Boa, Stella, Anthony, Joesph and Beryl.
After lunch was all of us expect Mel.
Photowhored while filiming.
Rachel and I checking out couples. Voice overs LOL.
Rachel texted me cause I was like " Forever alone! No text ): No calls ):"
*Phone Beeps* Me: OMG MESSAGE!
Rachel + Stella laugh. LOL thanks guys.
Finished filming at 3.30ish.
Parted ways on tram.
Stella + Me: Went to go buy bubble cup and check out my Vans. + bondage time with her.
Peter + Beryl: Went to Lincraft.
Bao + Joesph + Anthony: Went home.
Stella + Me caught the train from Flinders.
Peter + Beryl caught the train from MC.
Somehow met on same carriage.
Coincidence because I was like " OMG STELLA! PETER HAS MY UMBRELLA"
Stella pointing. Me turn around. LOL its Peter and Beryl.
 Got to Broady.
Caught bus home.
Annoying wogs on bus.
I wanted a peaceful ride home! BETCHES!
Currently at home (:
Good day!! Yeaaaahhhh Yeaaaaahhhhh

You shouldn't expect anything because if those expectations aren't reached you will be dissappointed.

The first thing I'm going to do

is share songs with you.
That's what I'm going to do.

I have a mini list waiting already (:

You didn't text me goodnight.
Guess you weren't thinking about me.

Are you going to text me goodnight?

It's not that easy

It's hard.
You wonder:

• What are they doing?
• How are they feeling today?
• Anything exciting happen?
• What did you do today?
• Accomplish anything new?

Just simply. How was your day? I want to hear all about it.
But are you thinking of me like how I'm thinking of you?

Maccas run

Kimsa and Alyssa 01/07/2012

I haven't texted you for a whole day.

Are you thinking of me?
Did you notice?
I think not.
Reason: You haven't texted me anything.

I believe in the CLICK